By: Cody Brotter
Live-Tweeting from the Girls’ Bathroom
At approximately 9:01AM, Cody Brotter finished a fast food breakfast burrito at his Work Study cubicle. Within one minute upon eating the last black bean, he ran to what he thought was his favorite stall in the men’s restroom. These are the deleted Tweets from @TweetCody, which documents his tragic entrapment and fascinating discoveries.
Ughh too big a breakfast lol #firstworldproblems #YOLO?
No. No no no no.
Naww. Totally not possible. I’ll just keep doing my thing. #word
Praying that was a cross-dresser.
Lot of cross-dressers in the dudes’ bathroom today. Blame @BarackObama I guess lol
OH HELL NO
I should have known from the nice couches and the TV in the mirror. The rumors are true guys.
Anyone on #CommAve with a cell phone? Need help. Text, don’t call.
@Lawyers Is it illegal if I didn’t know I was in the wrong b-room? #NotACreeper
@Firefighters Can u send cherry picker to certain window if I text u coordinates?
Guys of the world: I have not heard one woman go #2. Maybe those rumors were true too.
Overheard female co-worker making fun of my boat shoes. 1 day as girl, already bullied.
I should have been nicer to my parents. @BryceBrotter55 and @DrBritneyBrotter so sorry about last phone call, was drunk
@DrBritneyBrotter I do not have a drinking problem and idk yes, I might die
@BryceBrotter55 well if I am an addict it’s cuz of @DrBritneyBrotter’s genes
#sorry #famissues #cabinfever
Oh yeah update: women DO go #2 #mythbusting
They are going to send out a search team soon I’m sure
Tying myself up to pretend I was forced into this
Giving up. Last Tweets ever
@taylorswift13 I love you, always will, always have
@realwizkhalifa You’re a bad influence to the youth of America
Nice janitor. Barely any judgment at all. Back to work.
No actually how do you delete Tweets