Things The Roots Would Rather Be Doing

  by Quinn Marcus.

The Roots

When mtvU spoke with The Roots two years ago, they predicted that they’d be retired from touring in the near future. They stayed true to their word and got themselves a cozy gig doing rim shots and slow jams for Jimmy Fallon. Everyone’s reaction seems to be the same: “Yay! Also, sad!”

Having to perform every night while listening to the soft and steady rain of broad pop culture would drive anyone mad and I’m always under the impression The Roots are quietly biding their time, dreaming about other things they could be doing.

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Gluing Back Together All The Things Fell Apart

The Roots

As The Roots always say, “Things Don’t Always Maintain Their Structural Integrity.” Ask any group that’s been together longer than a decade; when you’re broken down, you pick up the pieces and hit the Elmer’s.

Opening an Organic Food Store

The Roots

Can you picture any of these guys eating at Wendy’s? Noooo. The Roots keep it real. I’m talking no pesticides, no hormones, no MSG, no fake beats and no drama. They could call it Certified Organix and I’d eat there everyday. Please.

Fighting Somali Pirates

The Roots

Just because Black Thought doesn’t talk about fighting much, it doesn’t mean he can’t or won’t. Musical piracy is a problem, sure, but real piracy just won’t stand. Every time Fallon cracks a pirate joke The Roots smolder with fury. Watch closely next time because this is what they wish they were doing.

Prepping for Rock Band: The Roots

The Roots

Motion Capture is a snap. Licensing the songs aint a thing. It’s modifying the standard 4-piece drum kit to be Quest-size that’s tricky.

Merchandizing

The Roots

Doing Jimmy Fallon isn’t selling out. It’s a job, plain and simple. So how does one know if he or she is selling out? If your name can grill a burger in under 3 minutes, you’re getting pretty close. Don’t do it, boys!

Hosting Their Own Late Night Talk Show

The Roots

This would be the best show ever. First of all, they’d be great hosts, the guests would all be other amazing musicians, and Jimmy Fallon would be playing all their house music on a kazoo.

Exploring Outer Space in a Giant Robot

The Roots

In an old interview, Questlove once made a reference to Voltron and ever since then I had to believe that The Roots were sci-fi nerds. Then they got a guitarist named Captain Kirk (Douglas) and now I think they’re actively trying to visit other worlds.

It’s cool, fellas. Do what you gotta do to get yourselves through the day. We’ll be waiting for you when you come back.

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